I want to be on the beach today.
Taking a long walk.Wet, chilly sand squishing between my toes.
Wind whisping here and there
Seagulls looking for left overs
Gliding so effortlessly in the sky
Jax by my side
or running ahead
with great excitement
as a wave tries to gobble up his piggies
Clean fresh air
Silence
Peace
What God is
A place I feel truly happy and welcomed
I feel ME
I feel the truth
Since coming back from the beach life has been crazy and I realize how old I am getting. I feel 16 most of the time but I find myself reaching more for family and stability. Tired of moving and wanting to get settled some place to call my own. More reminders of life passing when Jax's info about kindergarten was read.. July 7th, Mrs. Parks, Adams Elementary, 8:30 - 3:00 and as I look up I see my little bird put his tooth brush down, then comb his hair, grab for gel, then hairspray and think where did the time go? I am not ready for this.
Drip, drip, drip is all I hear from my kitchen ceiling and I am frustrated that my kitchen and the plumbing is STILL not fixed and yet am humbled by the thought that we do have water and a warm place to live but still am so ungrateful at times because we have to move and the kitchen has to be gutted out. I haven't lived there for a year yet and thought I would be here a long time.....sigh! hrumph! Mad at the landlord for not fixing it properly before I moved in. Mad I have to move, period. Just mad! :)
I don't want to move again. I am tired of moving. I want my own place. Am focusing thoughts on Utah. I miss family. Maybe I just need a good visit? or maybe I need a good snow storm to make me feel no thoughts of Utah what so ever!! heheheheheeeeee!!!
Jax doesn't want to turn 5 on the 17th. Wants to stay 4 so we are having a very small 4th birthday party. He is hilarious in his thinking.
Gave Jax a huge hug today after watching footage of the little girl in SLC that was killed. He pushed me away and I kept giving him more hugs until he said "oh, alright, Mom" and then he smiled and gave me a huge hug. So grateful, my bird is still with me. Wouldn't even know where to begin on how to survive the loss of a child. My heart is sad about the whole story/situation.
Gas went up, bread went up, even my favorite gum went up in price! sigh!!
One of my FAVORITE pics that makes me smile. And I am having a hard time smiling today. :)
I love Max's nose!
