First, of all, I love the picture of Lucy that my sister Natalie posted on her blog. It made me smile. I just love Lucy and you can't stay in a bad mood long while watching her or just seeing a picture.
I have been thinking too much lately and that is the problem.
First of all, HOORAY!! FOR TEXAS! for getting those woman and children out of the poly. cult and I hope that Utah and other poly groups will be next. I was so MAD last night and really got worked up on it and it was good because it made me journal and helped me deal with some issues I have with religion. God is so simple. Why do humans have to make it so damn hard? Myself included. I still haven't learned that lesson!
Second. I used to journal all the time. I used to run to my journals and loved to do so and it was my retreat and I looked forward to doing it and then I went back one day and read all my journals that I had written since I was a child and it had so much pain and sorrow in it that i put them all in the fireplace in Logan and burnt them and it gave me such freedom. Of course, there were a few stories like when Greg Hanks kissed me when I got off the bus or when Joe Hanks pulled his "oh my gosh"out every time we would walk home past his house. There he would be on the balcony with blonde feathered hair in his eyes, his zipper open and the naughtiest look you have ever seen! Of course, I ran home to mom and told her.
Now lately I am back to journaling again and it's been my retreat again. I can't wait for Jax to finally be asleep so I can write and write and write and just get it out. And I am learning so much about myself and what I want. I plan on burning them again, eventually. None of it is pleasant and as I get rid of the negative the positive is coming.
Third. Besides drip, drip, drip, I now have ants. We came home yesterday and TONS of ants were in Jax's finger paints on the table and they were all in my bath tub.
Did you know that ants don't like dryer sheets? Put a dryer sheet down and they go the other way. So our house smells like fresh rain due to sheets being upstairs and down. My landlord wanted to know what kind of ants and in my smart assness I mailed her some this morning. She doesn't believe me so she will get a handful of dead ants. :)
Guess what? Jax and I are now learning about all kinds of ants. Didn't know there were so many and they all had a purpose like bees do. Fascinating. See, trying to find humor, in an otherwise frustrating situation and it's great that I have a 4 1/2 year old that wants to know more.... we love the internet.
Fourth. I am playing the lottery. I am hoping to win in the next three weeks. I have put it out there in the universe so I know it will happen. If not, please send check to the "Kelly's Apartment Relief Fund" :)
Fifth: Have you ever driven by your self down the high way and just screamed for a long time on the top of your lungs? There is a stretch of highway I drive down and there isn't a lot of travelers and now I am to the point if there were then who cares. I just scream. I let it out. It feels good! I don't scream because I am sad or upset, I do it for every occassion. I do it every day. It's great therapy. I have Jax doing it now and we love it and it's fun and we laugh and laugh so hard when we are done. I used to do yard therapy. I used to scream out in the yard when I had more space and not so many neighbors but I can't do that any more. ... I know! it sounds silly and weird and perhaps crazy but at least I am not running nakkid around the yard screaming "Beavers and Ducks", "Beavers and Ducks"!
Sixth: I AM mentally stable. lol.....
