As you know when a program on your computer is not working right you can choose the Control, Alt, Delete button and you can choose the option to end the task. Then you are well on your way of trying again.
Now I get a kick outta my self because when I don't want something in my life I have to Control, Alt and Delete, it right outta there.
Now that I am doing what I want to do in my life and not caring what others think I feel a great freedom. Now I don't want a lot of people in my life. I have a lot of acquaintances and I like them but close friends I have a few and I like it that way. Too many people who don't know a shit about this or that but seem to know all about your life when they can't figure out their own is just not what I am into any more.
One of the freedoms I chose is to no longer attend or be an active member of the Mormon church.
Thanks to Face book I have had lots of "the past" come into my future. Accepting some with great excitement and others with a little hesitation of "do I really want to ride this crazy train again".
So, I befriended six people in the past two weeks. The first question they all asked wasn't, how are you, how's life, are you married, it was "Are you still active in church?".
Now this cracks me up because I see exactly where this is going.
I have lived this life too long. It's so easy to say "Oh yes!" Very active. I just love it! I wish Sacrament was two hours and every block have an hour added on.
Now I don't get angry at these poor souls because, like myself, I was born and raised a Mormon and was brainwashed to think that the only happiness one could possible have is to be a Mormon. After all, it's the true church.. mind you, the only true church. And because with both children being out of wedlock I have had countless e-mails, letters and even been pulled aside regarding putting my "never gonna be anything, bastard children" up for adoption.. and honey, I can go on but I won't. And like I have learned in this life "Everything's good until ya get pregnant" and that goes both ways for me... whether it be the penis partner leaving or the church.. Can I have "Yes, Ma'am"
So, I ignored their "first question" and tried to continue on a normal conversation with them but it didn't work. It kept coming back to church. So, I was honest and told them that I wouldn't discuss my personal feelings of religion but I was not active and either way it's a mistake to even say those words and any words that sound like "Not active, In active, Not attending church at the current time", etc..
Out of six conversations I got one who said they loved me and understood.
2 people who told me they understood but felt bad for my boys.
3 who are very concerned and asked if I could be put on the temple roll.
You can put me on a buttered roll and send me down the river and it ain't gonna solve the problem of what they feel is such a travesty.
So, guess what. All six got a lesson on Control, Alt, Delete. Call me crazy, cuz that is what I am but I told them to unfriend me, I wish them well, and I hope they will come to the light which I have found that has truly set me free and made me so much happier.
I love all 6 of this past friends. I accept their life for what it is but I can't accept their abusive behavior whether it's unintentional or not. And my boys don't need to think something's wrong with them if we were to associate with them.
I know this sounds crazy but have you C.A.D today? Do you have people in your life who bring you down?
If you truly believe in God and Jesus Christ then church doesn't matter. I have never experienced a more close and personal relationship with God, the Universe or what ever you choose to call it then I have since I am becoming ME. Since I weeded out the bullshit...whether it be friends, some family members, church members, my crazy ass neighbor who wont stay on her meds, not attending any religion and listening to what I really want. I love that I live in the present and not live for the next life. (That's another whole post)
